drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
accomplished twins. life is a go
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
