The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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