Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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