It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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