cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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