I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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