why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
