Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
