ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Buhtt sex?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
