i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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