So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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