smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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