then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
