Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
