Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
