it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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