ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
