I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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