so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
