Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think my moral compass just broke
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
