I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
