her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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