these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
