Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
