Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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