I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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