You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
