It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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