How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I enjoy the company of your penis
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