Jerry, you need to find god
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
