yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
