Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
