Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
