Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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