Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
