We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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