tell your sister to shave her snatch
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
