I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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