So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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