Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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