Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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