I looked at my own cervix.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She told me I should be a condom model.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
