Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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