I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
