Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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