i need an iv and a liver transplant
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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