And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize