what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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