If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
