well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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