Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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