her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she smelled like a LAN party
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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